How Did You Sleep? Like a Baby I Touched Myself Joke

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American Psycho is a 2000 motion picture about a immature, well-to-do man who isn't quite as normal as he seems....once yous detect all the torso parts of women he keeps in his apartment.

Directed by Mary Harron. Written by Mary Harron and Guinevere Turner, based on the novel by Bret Easton Ellis.

Killer looks. taglines

Patrick Bateman [edit]

• [repeated line] I have to return some videotapes.

• I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?

• Expect at that subtle off-white coloring; the tasteful thickness of information technology... Oh my God, it even has a watermark.

• [to a bartender, who doesn't seem to notice] You lot're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death and play around with your blood.

• I alive in the American Gardens Edifice on Due west 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced nutrition and a rigorous exercise routine. In the forenoon, if my face is a piddling puffy, I'll put on an water ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I apply a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond trunk scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I exit on for ten minutes while I set up the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave balm with lilliputian or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes y'all look older. So moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed past a terminal moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But at that place is no existent me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I tin can hide my cold gaze, and you lot can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and perhaps you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I merely am not there.

• I have all the characteristics of a man: mankind, blood, pare, hair; simply not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I call up my mask of sanity is near to slip.

• In that location is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul'south apartment overlooks the park... and is plainly more expensive than mine.

• I'grand on the verge of tears by the fourth dimension we arrive at Espace, since I'm positive we won't accept a decent table, merely we do. The relief washes over me in an awesome moving ridge.

• [to ii prostitutes] Practise you similar Phil Collins? I've been a large Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Earlier that, I actually didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, likewise intellectual. It was on Duke where, uh, Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Impact was the group'south undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the aforementioned time, it deepens and enriches the significant of the preceding 3 albums. Christy, have off your robe. Mind to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You tin can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your clothes. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this anthology hits a new height of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, trip the light fantastic a little. Take the lyrics to "Land of Confusion". In this vocal, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political say-so. "In Too Deep" is the about moving pop vocal of the 1980s, near monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as, uh, anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina tin meet your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like "In the Air This night" and, uh, "Against All Odds". Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. Simply I also remember Phil Collins works all-time within the confines of the group, than as a solo creative person, and I stress the word artist. This is "Sussudio", a great, great vocal, a personal favorite.

• Howard! Information technology's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know I've killed a lot of people. Some escort girls in an apartment uptown... uh... some homeless people maybe five or ten. Uh... Some NYU girl I met in Fundamental Park, I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop, I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nailgun and... some human, some erstwhile faggot with a canis familiaris. Last week I killed another girl... with a chainsaw... I had to, she almost got abroad. And there... was someone else at that place I don't retrieve, perchance a model, but sh- she's dead, too. And, uh- PAUL ALLEN! I killed Paul Allen with an axe! In the confront! His torso is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen! I don't want to leave annihilation out here — I guess I've killed maybe... twenty people... mayhap forty! Uh- huh huh-I accept uh... tapes of a lot of it. Some of the girls accept seen the tapes — I even... I ate some of their brains and I tried to cook a little. This evening, I uh- just had to kill a lot of people! And I'thousand not sure I'm gonna go abroad with it... this fourth dimension. I hateful... I mean I estimate I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you become back tomorrow, I may show upwards at Harry's Bar. And so, yous know, go on your eyes OPEN. Okay, bye.

• At that place are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the fell and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I take now surpassed. My pain is abiding and sharp and I practise not hope for a better globe for anyone; in fact, I desire my hurting to exist inflicted on others. I desire no 1 to escape. But even later admitting this, in that location is no catharsis. My penalty continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new noesis tin can exist extracted from my telling. This confession has meant null.

Dialogue [edit]

Bateman: New card. What do you think?

McDermott: Whoa-ho, very nice. Expect at that.

Bateman: Picked them upward from the printer'south yesterday.

Van Patten: Good coloring.

Bateman: That's "Os". And the lettering is something called "Silian Rail".

Van Patten: It's very cool, Bateman... but that'southward nothing. Await at this.

(Van Patten removes his carte du jour from its holder)

Bryce: That is actually nice.

Van Patten: "Eggshell", with "Romalian" type. What exercise you lot recollect?

Bateman: [shell] Dainty.

Bryce: Jesus. That is actually super. How'd a nitwit similar y'all become then tasteful?

Bateman: [internal monologue] I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's bill of fare to mine.

Bryce: But wait, you ain't seen nothing yet.

(Bryce removes his bill of fare from its holder)

Bryce: Raised lettering, "Pale Nimbus". White.

Bateman: Impressive. Very nice. [beat out] Let'southward see Paul Allen's card.

(Bryce nervously reveals Paul Allen'southward carte du jour)

Bateman: [internal monologue] Wait at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God... information technology even has a watermark.

(Bateman seethes)

Carruthers: Something incorrect? Patrick? You're sweating.

---

McDermott: If they accept a great personality and they're not peachy looking... and so who fucking cares?

Bateman: Well, allow's simply say hypothetically, OK? What if they accept a nifty personality?

[pause, all express joy]

Bateman: I know, I know. [in unison with the residue] There are no girls with proficient personalities.

Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty well-nigh things, and who essentially volition continue her impaired fucking mouth shut.

McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks.

Van Patten: Admittedly.

McDermott: And this is because they take to make up for how fucking unattractive they are.

Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said nearly women?

Van Patten: Ed Gein? Maitre d' at Canal Bar?

Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin in the fifties.

McDermott: So what did Ed say?

Bateman: When I see a pretty girl walking downward the street I think two things. One role of me wants to take her out and talk to her and exist real dainty and sweet and treat her right.

McDermott: And what did the other function think?

Bateman: What her caput would look like on a stick. [chuckles]

---

Luis: Hullo, guys. I wanna get your opinion on something. It's my business card. I decided to get a new i, likewise.

[Luis removes his business card from the holder and shows information technology to McDermott, and then Van Patten]

McDermott: Very nice.

Van Patten: Very nice, Luis.

Luis: Cheers. [shows information technology to Bateman, who does not respond. Luis then leaves]

Van Patten: Listen, what about dinner...

Bateman: Is that all y'all ever have to contribute, Van Patten? What nearly fuckin' dinner?!

McDermott: Cheer upward in that location, infant. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning? [claps Bateman on the shoulder]

Bateman: [shoves McDermott's paw abroad] Touch me similar that, and y'all'll depict back a stump.

McDermott: Concord on in that location, little buddy--!

[Bateman leaves and heads for the restroom where Luis is at. Donning a pair of leather gloves, he approaches Luis from behind and prepares to strangle him, but Luis turns around, sees Bateman, removes one of the gloves and kisses Bateman'due south hand.]

Luis: [laughs] Patrick...why here? I've seen you looking at me. [traces a mitt forth Bateman's cheek, before pressing a finger to his lips and olfactory organ] I've noticed your...hot body. [chuckles, and so moves in close] Don't be shy. You can't imagine how long I've wanted this - ever since that Christmas political party - Arizona 206, you know, the one where you were wearing that carmine striped paisley Armani tie...

[Bateman, bewildered and disgusted, heads to one of the sinks and begins washing his hands - without even removing the gloves.]

Luis: I want y'all. I want y'all, also!

[Bateman does not respond and heads for the door.]

Luis: Patrick!

Bateman: WHAT IS It?!

Luis: ...Where are you going?

Bateman: I've gotta return some videotapes. [leaves]

---

Bateman: I call up, um, Evelyn, that nosotros've, uh, lost touch.

Evelyn: Why? What's wrong?

Bateman: My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected, but, ah, I accept no other way to fulfill my needs. I'thousand fucking serious. It'south fucking over, united states, this is no joke. I don't think nosotros should see each other anymore.

Evelyn: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I actually don't remember it would work. [fusses with his collar] You take a little something...

Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I've thought virtually that. You can take 'em.

Evelyn: What nigh the past? Our past?

Bateman: We never actually shared one.

Evelyn: You're inhuman.

Bateman: No...I'k in touch on with humanity. Evelyn, I'm sorry, I just, uh...You're non terribly important to me.

---

Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials?

Bateman: Not if you desire to keep your spleen.

---

Bateman: Come on, Bryce. In that location are a lot more important issues than Sri Lanka to worry about.

Bryce: Like what?

Bateman: Well, we take to end apartheid for ane. And tedious down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and globe hunger. Nosotros have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social business organization and less materialism in young people.

---

Bateman: You like Huey Lewis and the News?

Paul Allen: They're OK.

Bateman: Their early on piece of work was a picayune too new wave for my tastes, only when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole anthology has a clear, well-baked sound, and a new sheen of complete professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, only I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical humor.

Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.

Bateman: Yes, Allen?

Paul Allen: Why are there copies of the Fashion section all over the place, d-exercise you have a dog? A niggling grub or something?

Bateman: No, Allen.

Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?

Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore!, their nigh accomplished anthology. I recollect their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Foursquare", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. [rapidly, as if agitated] But they should, because it'south not just most the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it'south also a personal statement about the band itself. [raises axe higher up head] Hey Paul!

[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and claret splatters over him]

Bateman: [as he begins to hack Allen to death with the axe] Effort GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA Now YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! You lot FUCKING BASTARD!

---

Bateman: [about Paul Allen] He was into that whole Yale thing.

Donald Kimball: Yale thing?

Bateman: Yep, Yale thing.

Kimball: What do you lot mean "Yale matter"?

Bateman: Well, for ane thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale affair.

---

Bateman: Ask me a question.

Club girl: So, what do you do?

Bateman: I'1000 into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.

Club girl: Do you similar it?

Bateman: Well, it depends. Why?

Club girl: Well, about guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it.

---

Bateman: Did yous know that Whitney Houston'southward debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston, had iv number one singles on it? Did yous know that, Christie?

Elizabeth: [laughing] Yous actually listen to Whitney Houston? You lot own a Whitney Houston CD? More than than one?

Bateman: [ignoring her] It's hard to choose a favorite amid and so many swell tracks, simply "The Greatest Dear of All" is one of the best, almost powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal bulletin crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it'due south not too late to ameliorate ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it'southward impossible in this globe we live in to empathize with others, nosotros can ever empathise with ourselves. It'south an important bulletin, crucial actually. And it'southward beautifully stated on the anthology.

---

Bryce: [after snorting "cutting" cocaine] It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to become high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal.

Bateman: Definitely weak, just I have a feeling that if nosotros do plenty of it we'll be okay.

Club Patron: [leans over from some other berth] Will y'all go on it downward? I'm trying to do drugs!

Bryce: Fuck you! Calm down. Let's practice information technology anyway. That is if the FAGGOT in the next stall thinks it'southward okay!

Social club Patron: FUCK You lot!

Bryce: HEY FUCK You! Deplorable, dude. Steroids. Okay, allow's practise it.

---

Bryce: [watching Ronald Reagan on Boob tube] How can he but stand in that location and lie similar that? He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, just inside... inside...

Bateman: [internal monologue] ... "merely within" doesn't matter.

McDermott: "Within," yes, "within..." - believe information technology or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...

Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do yous think?

Bateman: Whatever.

Taglines [edit]

• The menu is in Braille

• Killer looks.

• No introductions necessary.

• Killer inside.

• Evil never looked then damn expert.

• I need to return some videotapes...

• Monsters are real

Bandage [edit]

• Christian Bale - Patrick Bateman
• Willem Dafoe - Donald Kimball
• Reese Witherspoon - Evelyn Williams
• Samantha Mathis - Courtney Rawlinson
• Chloë Sevigny - Jean
• Cara Seymour - Christie
• Justin Theroux - Timothy Bryce
• Josh Lucas - Craig McDermott
• Pecker Sage - David Van Patten
• Matt Ross - Luis Carruthers
• Jared Leto - Paul Allen

External links [edit]

• American Psycho quotes at the Internet Motion picture Database

wilsonmeleat.blogspot.com

Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/American_Psycho_(film)

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